I know this because I live in a body that is drowning
I spend eternity learning where birds sleep, sky or nests,
the road to peace is where a bullet splits open
the cerebellum of my friend, my mother throws herself
at the train, they say it is madness, I say it is knowing
when to jump into a fire, and when to jump out
a cigarette burns out and the flames go home
a man sings to his children, I imagine my father
distant like cities buried inside a throat
we still would be drowning if the earth was turned upside down
I take the first pill today, the doctor says my dreams
will come like a stranger, I scream out of a dream again,
my body a bead of sweat, my body a bead of sweat
in the last poem I wrote, I killed a bird, in this one,
an owl tells me my name, says the street where I grew
a bean, my first crush turned a coin into a cowry
I breathe into this room, my bed warm enough to bless an egg
I dream of my mother throwing herself at a train, her head
a blend of chronic depression, my overwhelmed sister shouts, oh my God,
oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God
again, a drunk father didn’t make it home early
Adedayo Agarau is the author of chapbook, Origin of Names, selected by Chris Abani and Kwame Dawes for the New Generation African Poets chapbook box set (African Poetry Book Fund, 2020). He is a human nutritionist, documentary photographer, and author of two chapbooks, For Boys Who Went and The Arrival of Rain. Adedayo was shortlisted for the Babishai Niwe Poetry Prize in 2018, Runner up of the Sehvage Poetry Prize, 2019. Adedayo is an Assistant Editor at Animal Heart Press, a Contributing Editor for Poetry at Barren Magazine and a Poetry reader at Feral. His works appear or are forthcoming on Glass Poetry, Mineral Lit, Ice Floe, Ghost City, Temz, Linden Avenue, Headway Lit, The Shore Poetry, Giallo, and elsewhere. Adedayo is said to have curated and edited the biggest poetry anthology by Nigerian poets, Memento: An Anthology of Contemporary Nigerian Poetry. You can find him on Twitter @adedayo_agarau or agarauadedayo.com .