in the morning, I take it off
fold back the wailing flesh
and stand outside the fish-
monger’s. mom says you can tell
an old fish by its eyes. they sit
shallow, cloud like dust
I’m not afraid of the water
but what it makes of me. the
fishmonger wraps a trout
head in brown paper and I want
to say wait stop it can’t breathe
I want to take all the fish back
to the sea where they cannot
keep change in their pockets
it’s okay to want to go fishing
with your father. mom says this but
she hasn’t seen the way his mouth
jams the line, how his words grow
teeth and bite through the net
no matter how I try, I can’t run
away from the riddle that ends in
his laughter. the fishmonger holds
his knife like a surgeon. removes
the bones of a fish like milk teeth
I know better than to listen out
for the sea in old shells. I keep
standing at the end of the
dock with the line cast out
waiting for a fish to bite
Lola Oh is a Black British poet, photographer and facilitator. Lola was born to a Jamaican mother and a Nigerian father, and is currently based in South London. Through her poetry, Lola uses her work to explore family, loss, and ideas of black womanhood. Through photography, Lola uses her creative eye to document the world around her, distilling the essence of human emotions in the mundane, or intimate moments of everyday life. Lola’s poem “Bad Daughters” was shortlisted for The White Review’s Poet Prize. Lola is an alumnus of the Roundhouse Poetry Collective, Griots Well and Barbican Young Poets. She is a Roundhouse Slam Finalist, and has been featured by Apples and Snakes, BBC1xtra, English Touring Theatre, and Roundhouse’s The Last Word Festival.