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In: Anthology

The Hope of Floating Has Carried Us So Far – Precious Arinze

I tell you I sometimes wonder about my dog dying

and my heart is more ache than muscle. You say,

I have such a soft center, and I become Jericho –

city without walls;

city with all its gates blasted open.

When I die, I want everything in the world to mourn

me. The longer I live, the more regrets I have

to be accountable for. When asked how I am, I talk

about my friends to keep from admitting anything.

Like that time in a room somewhere, in the company

of strangers and a now distant love, when we

dragged joy into our lungs. Puffing. Passing.

Until all our sorrows became smoke and everything

was possible except what had threatened to disappear

us. Until lost hands carved a ruined city from between

my legs and I wondered whose sins I was paying for

and knew the answer. All our wounds begin

from the same place. Sometimes, the grief we carry

is better than the one we deserve. How are you? You ask.

I worry I can’t love my friends out of the worst

of themselves. I am hurrying towards a place where

my mother and I can love each other without first

disguising who we are. I want to get there faster

than time can kill us. Can kill me. You say what

you love most about the rain is the excuse to abandon

the day’s plans and start again. You are making a

celebration out of making hot cocoa and preparing

for a nap. Start again. I am returning to what has kept

me alive so far –

your pillow-soft arms,

the smell of clothes drunk from the sun,

and my dog, barking at the slightest bang

because it might mean the return of

someone she loves.

What music is that? I say, give me your hand.

You are already dancing.


Precious Arinze is a Nigerian poet, essayist, and author of the chapbook, The Hope of Floating Has Carried Us So Far, selected by Chris Abani and Kwame Dawes for the New-Generation African Poets Series (African Poetry Book Fund, 2021) and the Spanish Language Anthology of Poetry, Tres Preguntas: Poetas Jóvenes De Nigeria, published by the National Autonomous University of Mexico. Their works have appeared in Brittle Paper, Lolwe, Agbowo, ANMLY, The Republic Journal, Boston Review, Electric Literature, Glass: A Journal of Poetry, Exposition Review, and Berlin Quarterly, among others.